Writing Wrap-Up

            Through the 9th grade year, we have done multiple writing assignments for different topics and reasons. But they all have things in common that effect the over all quality of writing such as Ideas, Organization, Voice, Word Choice, and Conventions. My writing, as I have seen by looking at my papers, has improved greatly, going from a D paper, to a B paper.

            Conventions include grammar, spelling, and punctuation. This would be my strongest point, but does need work. Proper citations and MLA format though seem to be the weak point for conventions; the specifics really. I understand all the general ideas of it, but when it comes to applying it, I forget some of the smaller specifics. Another thing would the length of an overall paper. Many have pointed this out to me and I do try to lengthen the paper, but with little to no success.

            Word Choice would be my second best. Sometimes though, I’ll use an awkward word or phrase that can make the sentence difficult to read. What I need to understand better is what words to use and when to use them. Word Choice and also affect my Voice.

            Voice over all for me is just average. I think I need to understand who/what my audience is and how I’m suppose to talk/write to them. Each paper is different as is it audience, so it’s a big thing. Voice helps convex your thoughts and options on the topic you’re writing about, so it can affect a lot about the paper. But Ideas is where the over all substance is at.

            My ideas for a paper I have noticed are usually average, but do need a lot of work. My thesis ideas have come along way, but my support has stayed average the whole time. What I need to do is expand on my ideas, find more support in the text in some cases, and explain it as deeply as I can. My sources are good, and I can make a good conversation between them, but I need to go in deeper with them, using them more and try to expand as much as I can on it.

            So this year has been an eye opener. I understand more about what is required in high school, and think I am better prepared for sophomore year. My papers will be deeper, and will defiantly be lengthier. Ill work a lot more on my thesis’s, and will hopefully do better in general when writing for my next teacher.

1. Awkward wording- literacy narrative …”being the most”…
2. Confused  words- “weather” with “whether”- profile
3. Tense shift- … “draws first and he drew”….-Literary analysis
4. closing spaces between paragraphs-literary analysis
5. Citations- literary analysis, global issues
6. alphabetize citations-global issues
7. good opening sentences- “The game room of my house is on the second floor…”- profile rough draft
8. pronoun agreement-profile

Song Annotation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWa082xMwkk

For my song, I choose something that I've been listening to for a while.  So, I already have some understanding about what it's saying.   This is my interpretation of it. My song choice is Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down. Much of the song itself is pretty straight forward, but there are a few points that I just love. Starting with the middle of the chorus when it says "holding the lights for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair".  It's a personification of the soldiers guiding us away from the dark, protecting us from what ever , or whom ever, would want to harm us. In this case the dark are the things that would want to hurt us, and the soldiers are the light holding the dark at bay and guiding us to a safer place.

The other part is when the song says "I walk beside you, but you may not see me.  The strongest among you may not wear a crown". This is also personification ,but it has some interesting word choices as well. It's talking about the soldier walking beside you, but you not seeing him or her.  It's saying that there is more to the person walking beside you than just what you see on the outside.  The soldier is basically two different people, but you wouldn't know that by looking at him or her. Which is where the personification and word choice come in to play. The second part of the phrase where it says " The strongest among you may not wear a crown" would mean that the person you are looking at is stronger than he or she appears.  Hero's don't have to look the part, or have to act the part, they just do what they've been trained and told to do. He or she may not be popular, but the soldier has meaning and purpose, and they will protect you even though you don't know who they are or what they are really doing.

A rumnor of war 2

150 min= R.O.W.
In A Rumor of War, the story is based on a man own expirences. The author (the soldier in the book) doesnt really use many figurative forms of writing. He instead tells you how it happened as if you were there with him. Since its an auto biography, your getting all of his feeling and emotions of the war from his point of veiw, which helps convey the story and actions in the story.
You understand why he does something or why he would do something. You begin to understand the soldiers more. At the end of a chapter, his platoon is destroying a village that housed Viuet Cong. As this is all happening he describes his men as mad animals, but its just ified when you relize why. They were all learning to hate, as the auther put it. This village aided men who wanted to kill them. They wanted justification. They wanted revenge.

the whipping

150 min. R.O.W.

In "The Whipping" I noticed something funny. A point of view is never really set. In the majority of the stanzas, its from a 3rd person prospective, but in the 4th and 5th stanzas, it seems to be from the boys point of view. And then at the end of the 5th stanza it switches back to 3rd person.
This could be so that you feel a bit of empathy for the boy; you can feel his pain. But it never goes to the mother's point of view. It's either the boy's or 3rd person, which could back up the idea that you are supposed to empathize with the boy, or have some sort of emotional connection with him.